I-N-D-E-P-E whatever
Typically when a girl goes through something traumatic, normally a break up, sudden confidence, drive, and a sense of independence ensues.
Great! You go girl, you deserve it.
We all go through things in life that cause a temporary drop in confidence, pain, mental suffering, etc. When we are finally "freed" from said torture, we tend to reinvent ourselves- typically becoming the total opposite of who we were in the previous relationship.
This is where extreme independence becomes a beautiful, and damaging trait. You're probably asking "Why would independence ever be a bad thing??"
I'm not saying having a sense of independence is a bad thing, at all. It's when women abuse "independence" is a bad thing.
We as women should not ever 100% depend on a man, or another woman. If something were to happen in a relationship, we should not have to feel like we should stay due to fear of failure being alone. We should be in our relationships for all the right reasons. Not for your kids, not for your house, not for financial stability- but because you LOVE and CARE for that person.
Here's where things get sticky.
Some women are SO independent, they feel as if they're superior to men. When a man approaches, the woman doesn't allow the man to court her properly, or may have an "i don't need you" attitude from the jump. How in the world is a relationship ever going to blossom if the signals you're giving are "if this works out, cool, if it doesn't, could care less, I'm just fine on my own, don't need NO man" attitude, hmmm?
LET ME MAKE SOMETHING CLEAR: Not everyone is looking for a relationship, of course. This is for people openly searching for a partner but then giving off these types of signals.
When you enter a relationship, there's something called compromise.
Oooooo, spooky! The dreaded word compromise.
Guess what boo, it's no longer "your way or the high-way" and sometimes, it DOESN'T go your way. Sometimes we have to do things we don't like, or would rather not, but we do for the best interest of our relationship/marriage. In reality, you chose this person for a reason. There's something you feel this person brings to the table, and you like it. We (both the man and woman) have to mutually respect wishes, feelings, concerns, etc. When you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone, two become one. This is where you have to give in a bit of your "I don't need you, I don't care what you think" and realize to make things work, you have to work as a team.
Check out this wonderful article I found that says it BEST!
Listen, independence is not a bad thing, but being overly independent can be toxic. It can inhibit you from letting others in. I hope this was able to shed some light on maybe some fears/feelings you've been having, or can help someone feeling like this is the situation they're in. I know not everyone will agree with this, and I totally respect if you have different views! If you ever want to discuss this topic further, feel free to DM me on the gram!
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